two uses of the child in female patients

There are two strong trends in the relation of pre-genital women to their children.

The first is altruistic and the woman can openly acknowledge that she lives for her children and would like to be taken care of by a man. She has strong anxiety, she only leaves the house for her children, and openly acknowledges that suicide would be an option if she didn't have her children and was only living for herself. 

The second is egoistic and the woman is judgmental and is competitive with men if not outright dismissive of them. The woman has austerity (and the shadowy sexual desires that go along with it) and its only with her children that she can engage in her playful, spontaneous altruistic side. 

For the former, the child represents the phallus in regards to agency and assertiveness in the world.

In the latter, the child represents the phallus in regards to innocence, good intentions, affability, and purity.

This is clearly a repression of bisexuality and its return in a symptom.

There is also the question of whether the repressed altruistic side in the egoist, for example, becomes projected into the altruistic man which then has to be actively mistreated, put down, etc. or whether it is a masculine (subject egoistic) trend in the woman that finds an echoistic man to mistreat.

Currently, there are several patients I have who have both aspects. They compete with men for admiration for knowledge and are very much in relationships with echoistic men and the rest of the world would generally see them as rigid and austere.

There is also the further issue that bisexuality probably underpins narcissism and echoism and not the object drives being repressed by the ego drives. 

The rigidity and austerity in the object egoist for example, by definition, means that the altruistic drives aren't felt in the person or motivating her behavior. Her sense of the superiority of her judgment and beauty comes from the energy withdrawn from the altruistic drives.