Saturday, May 10, 2014

The altruist without a family. Antigone complex.

When I first came up with the symptom reading I was looking at vampire films (like the Lost Boys).

I ended up watching the first Twilight and was surprised to find that the symptom reading covered up not that just Bela had sexual feelings for her father (through Edward) but that more powerfully, she wanted to escape and go and re-join her mother and her new partner and be part of their family. Belonging to Edward's family was an important part of the relationship with him and the baseball his family played ties it to her mother's new family with a major league ball player.

Bela leaving her father to join her mother's new family became an intense anxiety situation in which she was being hunted because she was being disloyal to her father who was on his own and putting her own desire to belong to a family ahead of his loneliness.

A few altruistic patients who have left abusive relationships and are overwhelmed with hate for their ex-partners have got to the point of sharing their fantasies of being with their exes again. Despite the abuse and hate they want to be 'inside' a family. The fantasy is that they are with their children and the partner and they are doing "fun" things such as visiting neighbors, going to the beach, etc. and the partner is there so that they are seemingly not anxious about having to take care of bills, fixing things in the house, so that they feel protected, and don't have to worry about providing for their children.

For some other altruists who don't have the family fantasy it's interesting to note that they feel oppressed by the 'perfection' of the lives of siblings or others who they see as happy, having partners, having children. They feel self-pity about being excluded from this happiness- are 'outsiders'- and in Antigone complex fashion, they are tied to a parental substitute or an actual parent who they pity and feel like they have to assist or make happy. Their situations are more complex than this and they are definitely being taken care of by the parent or parental substitute, have feelings of being more powerful than the parental substitute, and there is fighting and antagonism. Every economy of libido is complex and they suffer from severe regression and multiple defusions but, despite this, the emphasis on the altruistic pole is plainly observable.  

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