I haven't been posting very much because my energy has been going to meeting the deadlines I have in other projects. Yesterday, I had a glorious glimpse of throwing off one of the yokes very soon and was able to feel like a bird once again- able to see the whole scene and all the players from above.
I've written about negativity in psychoanalysis providing the foundation for Perfection and Death as two things that we can't subjectively experience but posit in the other and react to. Please forgive my repetition but it's helpful for me to build the symmetry needed for my rationalist approach.
The egoist reacts the the other's perfection by striving for it himself.
The altruist reacts to the other's death by trying to restore him.
The egoist in his attempt to possess or control his good reputation or his sexual object reacts with hate to resistances.
The altruist in her attempt to merge or resonate with her sexual object or the reputation of others reacts with aloneness to resistances.
The principle of competition in the egoist is on top/on bottom.
The principle of restoration in the altruist is inside/outside. The altruist tries to restore those outside back to the inside and on the inside there is a feeling of belonging that is separate from being on top/on bottom.
The egoist hates the other for a loss in love and hates himself when he isn't on top.
The altruist feels the other's aloneness when he is outside, and feels her own aloneness in a loss of love.
The hate of the egoist manifests as aggression.
The aloneness of altruist manifests as affection. She needs to be outside of herself and have the radio on and her voices, be cuddled and touched by intimates, have little baubles or figurines to gaze upon, to talk in a baby voice and play before the other, to sleep, etc. This reaction has as many fixations as the aggression of the egoist.
As the poles intermingle the altruist too has aggressive feelings and passive-aggression is the form of that occurs at the oedipal stage. This is in relation to the self and aggression and standing up for others is developed. The egoist gains active-affection at the oedipal too. Active-affection notes the generosity that the egoist can have for those who are in his family, or who are extension of his power, but generosity doesn't extend beyond this sphere.
It is also clear that aggression in panic attacks and general anxiety/fears of the outside world is related to aggression in the altruist. However, aloneness and being on the outside probably plays a role too. I'm not sure at this point about aloneness in the egoist and my bird's eye view grows foggy at this point so it's best to leave off for now.
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