Sunday, October 9, 2016

subject altruist in the ego and object drives and primal scene.

One of the most common repetitions in subjects altruists (SA), though it's certainly in objects altruists too, is having to "walk on eggshells" with a romantic partner who gets angry with one. This is often seen in how many altruists stay in bad jobs with bad bosses. Where other people at the job can be surprised the boss talks to subordinates the way he does and ultimately leave soon, if not get fired for standing up to him, the SA feels that this is acceptable. Often he or she ends up making small mistakes or forgetting something and provides the boss with an opportunity to be upset.

Although I've seen this for a long time, I haven't had the chance to do much individual work with someone stuck in the repetition...  I've recently had the chance, and found that it shared some primal scene elements.

I've posted before about how the repetition of physical abuse in relationships, victimization, appeared as projective identification (PI) with the mother in a primal scene in which the child believed, or actually saw, the mother being beaten by the father (or some parental-substitute equivalents).

Working with one client I was able to see that this walking on eggshells with the boss also had an element of the client sacrificing herself for another employee which would also make this PI between mother and child. In other words, the client saw the mother take on her father's anger for something the client was responsible for, and now she plays this out with a coworker. And, until this coworker comes along to complete the triangle, she is paired with a bad boss, and is in wait.

I've posted on this before as well. The Electra complex of the object egoist represents aggression towards both parents (parental imagos/substitutes) and the Antigone complex is the loss of both parents (or in the SA's passive-egoism, the prohibition against becoming a parent, an adult, happily married, etc. in one's life).

So much is written on dyads in contemporary psychoanalysis, but there are so many interesting triangulations to figure out.

I also have a previous post on another SA primal scene for which I used the cartoon Inspector Gadget.   It concerns the SA's rescuing impulse and how that can end with the rescued parental substitute not recognizing the Sa's help at all.

It seems that every deutero phase has the chance for the individual to have a primal scene involving their relations to the mother (which later becomes transcribed to the paternal imago) or when the half of the paternal imago, which wasn't split off to create the deutero phase, comes to ascendency, there is a chance that a trauma/fixation can occur in which the focus was the phallic mother losing her idealization to the egoist or showing her worth as the good object to the altruist. In regards to the latter, this is dramatized very well in a number of stories. Pip in Dickens' Great Expectations has his low class, father-substitute Joe who he is embarrassed of, but who it breaks his heart to leave. In the more recent Inside Out movie, there is the imaginary friend who sacrifices himself so that the protagonist, Joy, can get out of the valley of discarded memories. He's represented as kind of silly and ridiculous, as a mixture of several animals and things, which also calls to mind the chimera and other representations of symbols/mythological things that come in threes (i.e. the dad, mom, and child).

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