I have to share that I often post on this site to procrastinate with other projects or obligations I should be working on.
I also want to share that I have many half started posts and many more moments of just staring at the screen and wondering what to write. I often touch on to something and then feel that I couldn't give it enough poetic flair.
In general, I feel embarrassment about my writing and often open up old posts to see forgotten words or basic mistakes.
I feel like I owe the people who read an apology. I also think often about how I need to take more pride in what I do...
I think I shared in an old post that "I have no guts" and that I do only the outline of things but the movements or the effort to shape things aren't consistent the whole way through.
I picture a magician who conjures up something that is impressive on the surface but on closer inspection you find that the bouquet of flowers he pulls out is lifeless and bland.
This is only on somedays though and if you've read any of what I write then you know it is only one soul, or one chorus of souls, that hum this song.
Still, today I feel like all my teeth should fall out and that, with mouth agape, everyone should see the putrid flesh of my gums (now gnashing with an underbite). Everyone should feel disgust and shun this previously long-toothed villain. All should throw stones or flee.