Conversation with someone who was very self-critical has prompted me to point out that a person may possess some deficits in development (lack of aim-inhibition to form the trito stage) or some adaptations that respond to seduction or rejection (deutero stages) but, he or she may have overcome their limitations.
Psychoanalysts, or other 'therapists' for that matter, don't have a monopoly on wisdom. Having a relationship with a wise friend or teacher who can point out one's unrealistic expectation or one's fear or one's rigid way of responding in a certain circumstance in an empathic way could allow one to go beyond one's character.
However, when it comes to defenses (paranoia, melancholia, etc.) against defusions ("castration" anxiety in different stages or trito defusions of conscience) pointing out the lack of reality is not helpful at all. Even the wise encounter the "narcissistic barrier" here and unintuitive understanding of psycho-dynamics is required.
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